Matthew 18:15-17 – HOW TO RESTORE BACKSLIDING CHRISTIANS

1. The HEART for restoration in the church
Matthew 18:14 “it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”
John 10:27-30 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.”
Ephesians 4:15 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ”
Hebrews 12:5-6 ““My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

2. The PATTERN for restoration in the church
What NOT To Do
Rage – James 1:20 “for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Revenge – Romans 12:19 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.””
Slander – 1 Peter 2:23 “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”
Gossip – Eph 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Fear – 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
Nothing – often, we make all sorts of excuses to ultimately do nothing.
* “The timing isn’t right; I’m going to wait” – Matthew 5:23-25 “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser”
* “I shouldn’t be the one initiating; she needs to come to me first to
apologize!” – Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
* “I’m too shy, that’s not my personality” – 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
* “I just don’t know what to say!” – Luke 12:12 “for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”

What TO Do: COVER in love
Proverbs 19:11 “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
Practical questions to ask yourself to discern if you should cover in love:
* Is it a sin?
* Is there disunity?
* Will this sin hurt others?
Hebrews 12:14-15 “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled”
* Is this sin a pattern?
What TO Do: CONFRONT in love
1. Speak PRIVATELY
Here are 10 things we should aim for in this 1 st STEP:
* Prepare your heart
Confess any sinful way you’ve contributed to the situation (Psalm
139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”)
Remove the log of judgmental arrogance (Matthew 7:5 “first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”)
Forgive (Ephesians 4:32 “…forgiving one another, as God in Christ
forgave you.”)
* Plan an appropriate time and place to meet
* Affirm your genuine love for the person
* Share your concern objectively (“I saw you do…” “I heard you say…”)
* Ask lots of questions (“can you help me understand what you meant by that?
Or why you did that?” – Be teachable and keep gathering truth)
* Be humble, gentle and patient (Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”)
* Define the issue biblically – once you’ve clarified the issue, go to specific
Bible passages to address the sin as sin, and ask if the person understands
* Call the person to repentance and allow for a response
* Pray with and for the person
* Follow up quickly (call or text within 24 hours to affirm your love and prayers,
and meet within a week to hear what God has done).
2. Bring ONE or TWO others

3. Tell it to the CHURCH

4. Consider as OUTSIDE the church