40-Day Devotion, Day 31

PREPARATION: READ JAMES 1:19-27

Control Your Temper

Take a moment and try to remember the last time you got angry. What was the reason? How quickly did that emotion rise? How did you treat those around you? Did you lash out say and things you shouldn’t have said? Did you lose control and throw a fit? Did anything get broken? Afterwards did you have to apologize to anyone for your words or actions?

If you answered “NO” to all of the questions above, give yourself a pat on the back. You obviously managed your anger well, at least this time, which puts you in rare company. According to at least one anger management firm, one out of every five Americans has an anger management problem! Even Christians are not immune, which is a shame. We lose a great deal of credibility with unbelievers when we allow anger to drive our actions, and we potentially do a great deal of damage.

A lady once approached Billy Sunday, the great evangelist, and tried to rationalize her angry outbursts. “There’s nothing wrong with losing my temper,” she said. “I blow up, and then it’s all over.” “So does a shotgun,” Sunday replied, “and look at the damage it leaves behind!”

Sunday was right. Mishandled anger takes the scalpel of correction and turns it into the ax of criticism. It takes discipline, which builds people up, and turns it into abuse which tears them down. It is selfish and unpredictable, and no matter how we attempt to justify it, it is wrong.

In today’s reading, James addresses anger with a simple statement. He tells us that we should be slow to anger, because our anger comes in conflict with the righteous life that God wants for us. Note that James does not suggest that the emotion of anger is a sin. In fact, Paul assured us in Ephesians 4:26-27 that we can be angry without sinning, so long as we handle it the right way. (In the same verse, he tells that that mishandled anger gives the Devil a foothold in our lives!) Even Jesus experienced anger during His ministry, and He never sinned! God created our emotions, and anger comes from Him. What James and Paul tell us, however, is that anger is powerful; and unless we learn to master it, it will quickly master us.

So just how do we control anger in a Godly way? How do we keep from giving Satan a foothold through our temper? Here are three key words to remember, straight from the “How-To Book” of James:

#1 STOP AND LISTEN BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Notice that James begins these verses by saying, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...” James connects the first two phrases (quick to listen; slow to speak) with slowing down anger. This seems like an easy command, except that it’s not! So often, as anger explodes to the surface, words explode from our lips – words that we know we will later regret. One author observed, “A sharp tongue is the quickest way to cut your own throat.” Solomon put it this way: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Both quotes reach the same conclusion – our words can either throw cool water on anger’s flames, or they can fan them.
Understand this – we can deal with other people, even assertively, without trampling their feelings. Jesus got angry, but He did so in a way that ultimately expressed value in others. Insults and accusations have no healthy part in these conversations. Unfortunately, they come easily, unless we purposely stop and collect our thoughts, and...

#2 LISTEN TO THOSE WITH WHOM YOU ARE BECOMING ANGRY
Hear them out. James tells us that we need to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.” We naturally want to seize control of the situation and “let someone have it,” but instead, James instructs us to be still and listen to one another. Remember, gentle words can turn away wrath. Three gentle words that can douse the flames of anger are, “Help me understand.” And after you have heard...

Maybe the person who is talking can help you understand their perspective. (Maybe not). But at least look at the situation from God’s point of view. Ask yourself, “What does God want from me right now?”

Anger truly may be the correct response – there is a such thing as righteous anger – but be sure that is what the situation warrants. After all, James tells us that “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (*Emphasis mine*) Righteous anger is Godly. Man’s anger must be carefully managed.

The first step to overcome mishandled anger is to be honest about it. Remember, James says that God’s Word is like a mirror. It can be uncomfortable to see your reflection, but if you will study it intently and act on what you see, God will set you free from anything that ensnares you. (To continue reading, go to my comment below.)